Šiame poskyryje apžvelgsime kelis atvejus, kai žmonėms, besiverčiantiems įvairaus masto verslu, kyla didelės (arba nelabai) problemos.
Žinoma, mes jas analizuosime tokiu požiūriu, kad visi nemalonumai ir planų žlugimas yra pagrindinės elgesio taisyklės nepaisymo padariniai; toji taisyklė teigia, kad nieko negalima idealizuoti, t.y. negalima jausti neigiamų emocijų, jei kažkas vyksta ne taip, kaip, jūsų nuomone, turi būti. Verslininkai taip pat turi mėgstamiausių idealizacijų, – pvz., savo sugebėjimų, pinigų, materialinės gerovės idealizacija, žmonių kvailumo smerkimas ir t. t.
Šias idealizacijas „prižiūrėtojas” daugeliu atveju griaunamas verslo žlugimo būdu, kadangi jų atsiradimą sąlygojo būtent verslas. Panagrinėkime pavyzdžius.
Pradžioje išanalizuokime atvejį, kai moteris neturi nei darbo, nei pinigų. Kodėl ji atsidūrė tokioje situacijoje?
19 atvejis. Lena, 37 m., ištekėjusi, bedarbė.
Lena gimė labai turtingoje prekybininkų šeimoje ir pati daug metų dirbo prekybos srityje. Dar socializmo laikais ji uždirbdavo iki 1000 rublių per mėnesį. Perestroikos laikais ji tapo mažos parduotuvėlės direktore, tačiau pajamų dydis jos netenkino. Ji metė prekybą ir tapo klestinčios privačios firmos vykdomąja direktore. Jos pareigos buvo tik vykdomosios, bet darbas šalia firmos prezidento ir naujosios pajamos jai patiko. Firmos prezidento pažiūrų į gyvenimą sistema ir didelės pajamos labai sustiprino jos nuomonę apie save ir reikalavimus gyvenimui (ji užsigeidė turėti daug gražių daiktų, valgyti iš sidabrinių indų ir t. t.).
Taip tęsėsi apie pusmeti, vėliau ta firma pradėjo nebeduoti pelno, pajamos sumažėjo, o galiausiai vadovybė ėmė nebemokėti ir atlyginimų.
Lena metė šį darbą, bet per daug nebesistengė susirasti naujos darbo vietos. Daugiau nei metus gyvena iš buto nuomos (ji išnuomojo laisvą savo tėvų butą) ir už pinigus, kuriuos paskolino draugai. Visi bandymai pradėti savo verslą baigėsi nesėkmingai, – reikalingi žmonės po pirmųjų susitikimų dingdavo.
Vasarą lankydamasi kaime, Lena atsitiktinai užtiko sugriautą XVIII amžiaus cerkvę ir pajuto nenumaldomą norą ją atstatyti. Būdama realistė, ji įvertino, kiek tam reikės pinigų, ir pradėjo mąstyti, kaip įgyvendinti šį projektą. Ji sutiko žmonių, kurie turėjo tokias pinigų sumas. Tuo pačiu ji apsilankė keliose dvasinėse mokyklose ir ėmė galvoti apie savo dvasinio centro įkūrimą. Šie aukšti ir kilnūs tikslai labai traukė Leną, bet erzino nuolatinis pinigų trūkumas, tuo labiau kad ir jos vyras neteko darbo. Bet vėl eiti dirbti prekyboje ar kitoje srityje jau nebenorėjo.
Situacijos diagnozė
Dabar pažiūrėkime, kurios idealizacijos lėmė šią nelabai malonią Lenos situaciją.
Užaugusi turtingoje šeimoje ir pati ilgą laiką uždirbdavusi didelį atlyginimą, ji susiformavo stereotipą (t. y, idealą), kaip turi gyventi jos šeima. Apsirūpinimui ir pinigams anksčiau ji neskyrė ypatingos reikšmės, todėl visada turėjo tiek pinigų, kiek reikėjo, nes juos užsidirbdavo.
Paklausta, kiek jai mėnesiui reikia pinigų, ji paminėjo penkių tūkstančių dolerių sumą. Būtent tokia suma gali jai užtikrinti normalų gyvenimą. Tačiau kur uždirbti tiek pinigų, ji neįsivaizduoja. Todėl nenori dirbti už mažą atlyginimą, o didelio – niekas nemoka.
Čia išryškėja pirmasis klaidingas jos įsitikinimas – turtingo (aprūpinto) šeimos gyvenimo idealizacija. Pagal jos susikurtą modelį šeimoje turi būti vyras, vaikai, geros gyvenimo sąlygos, šeima turi būti gerai materialiai apsirūpinusi. Panašiai kaip jos tėvų šeimoje.
Ši idealizacija nepasireiškė, kol Lena dirbo parduotuvėje ir savo darbu užsidirbdavo pinigų (kaip ir jos tėvai). Viskas puikiai sekėsi, kol ji neperėjo dirbti į privačią firmą ir nepakeitė pažiūrų į gyvenimą sistemos. Lena užsigeidė turtų, pradėjo reikšti pasauliui pretenzijas dėl pinigų, nes visa kita turėjo. Pagal bendrąją idealizacijų griovimo taisyklę būtent pinigai turėjo dingti iš jos gyvenimo. Taip ir įvyko – privati firma tapo nebepelninga ir pinigai ėmė trauktis iš jos gyvenimo.
Tuo pačiu Lena turėjo ir dar vieną problemą- dvasingumo idealizaciją. Pats dvasingumas ir sugriautos cerkvės atstatymas – labai geras dalykas. Bet kai žmogus dvasingumui skiria per daug reikšmės ir pradeda nebemėgti žemiškųjų rūpesčių, pinigų ar kitų materialinių gėrybių vaikymosi, tai pagal bendrąją taisyklą ši idealizacija turi būti sužlugdyta. Jūs nekenčiate žemiškųjų rūpesčių ir nenorite kartu su visais siekti materialinės gerovės? Prašau, jeigu tik norite. Patys esate savo gyvenimo valdovai. Bet: jeigu nemėgstate žemiškųjų, materialiųjų gėrybių, tai kodėl jos turi jus mėgti? Jūs idealizuojate dvasingumą (t. y. nežemiškumą, anapusybę) – vadinasi, žemiškasis pasaulis pradeda nuo jūsų tolti ir jūs nebegaunate žemiškųjų gėrybių.
Šitaip paprastai klostosi tų žmonių reikalai, kurie užsiima švietėjiška ir dvasine veikla. Teikdami per didelę reikšmę dvasingumui ir smerkdami materialines gėrybes, pagal karminio „auklėjimo” taisykles jie susilaukia daug problemų dėl pinigų, būsto, darbo ir t. t.
Būtent tokią „auklėjamąją „ pamoką gavo Lena, kai užsibrėžė tikslą atstatyti sugriautą cerkvę ir įkurti dvasinį centrą.
Ar būtinai reikia būti vargšu?
Mūsų nuomone, dvasingumas nebūtinai turi sietis su skurdu ir materialinėmis problemomis. Taip gyvenime dažnai pasitaiko, ir daugumai skurdas virsta dvasingumo patvirtinimu. Tačiau nesunku pastebėti, kad dauguma elgetų yra nedvasingi, o tarp turtingų žmonių yra daug dvasingų individų.
Lena ėmė smerkti pastangas siekti pinigų. Todėl jie pradėjo dingti iš jos gyvenimo. Būtent taip ir atsitiko.
Tai gana tipiška situacija žmogui, bandančiam vienu metu suderinti dvi dvasinės raidos kopėčių pakopas – antrąją ir septintąją. Tai retai kam pavyksta, Lenai taip pat dėl to kilo problemų. Turbūt jai patartina tiksliai nusistatyti savo vietą šiame gyvenime, tada ir problemų sumažės.
Mes apžvelgėme tik vieną situaciją, bet būna atvejų, kai darbo netekimas visiškai nesusijęs su dvasine veikla. Pavyzdžiui, nuolatinis pyktis, smerkimas ir savo sugebėjimų idealizacija taip pat gali niekais paversti visas pastangas įtvirtinti savo padėtį pasaulyje. Pagvildenkime tokį pavyzdį.
20 atvejis. Tatjana, simpatiška, labai savarankiška ir valdinga moteris. Ji buvo didelio miesto administracijos skyriaus viršininkė, bet po konflikto su savo tiesioginiu vadovu jį atleido, o Tatjanai pasiūlė arba eilinio darbuotojo pareigas tame pačiame skyriuje, arba eiti į darbo biržą.
Šeimyninis Tatjanos gyvenimas taip pat nebuvo rožėmis klotas. Baigusi institutą, ji savo gimtajame mieste pradėjo dirbti visuomeninio maitinimo įstaigos vadove. Ištekėjo, bet vyrą mažai domino šeimos gyvenimas ir šeimyninio lizdo tvarkymas, nors galimybių tam turėjo. Jis nuolatos vykdavo į komandiruotes ir labai domėjosi kitomis moterimis. Kadangi mažame miestelyje pašalinių santykių nuslėpti neįmanoma, Tatjana užtiko savo vyrą su kita moterimi. Po to įvykio ji susikrovė nedidelį lagaminėlį ir grįžo gyventi pas motiną. Visa laimė, kad jie neturėjo vaikų.
Po trejų metų Tatjana persikėlė į didelį miestą, ištekėjo ir pati gavo darbą miesto administracijoje. Vyras pinigų neuždirbdavo, nors vaidino šeimos maitintoją ir šeimininką. Po metų jie pradėjo bartis, o dar po kurio laiko barniai virto muštynėmis. Kadangi Tatjana gyveno vyro namuose, todėl neturėjo kur dingti. Taip tąsėsi dar trejus metus. Per tą laiką ji tiesiog išsireikalavo savo darbovietėje butą. ir iškart į jį persikėlė. Vyras nesutiko skirtis ir dar dvejus metus kėlė barnius, grasino ir kiek galėdamas nuodijo jai gyvenimą.
Pastaraisiais metais Tatjana susidomėjusi skaito ezoterinę literatūrą ir stengiasi keisti savo gyvenimą, bet kol kas rezultatų nėra, jos gyvenimas yra.
Situacijos diagnozė
Šiame pavyzdyje išryškėja ištisas idealizacijų ir „auklėjimo” priemonių rinkinys, būdingas valdingai moteriai.
Stipri moteris – silpnas vyras
Per daug valdinga ir energinga moteris, mananti, kad yra gyvenimo valdovė, gana dažnai išteko už niekam tikusio vyro, kuris kiek tik galėdamas nuodija jai gyvenimą. Jeigu esi tokia valdinga ir smerki silpnus vyrus – tai ir gauk kaip „auklėjimo” priemonę tai, ką smerki (pagal pirmąją karminio „auklėjimo” taisyklą).
Valdingų moterų vyrai dažniausiai nemoka užsidirbti pinigų (o ir kam jiems šie rūpesčiai, kai turi okią žmoną?), girtauja, barasi ir stengiasi įrodyti savo reikšmingumą. Jei nepavyksta nieko įrodyti, vyrai nusigeria.
Tatjana turėjo du vyrus, ir abu jie aktyviai vykdė „auklėjimo” funkcijas. Abu turėjo toli gražu ne geriausias vyrų savybes – savimeilę, tinginystę, skandalingumą, grubumą ir t. t. Jie griovė jos sugebėjimo kontroliuoti aplinkinį pasaulį idealizaciją. Nepaisant visų jos didvyriškų pastangų, gyvenimas vis dėlto stipresnis.
Darbe Tatjana taip pat susigalvojo idealaus vadovo modelį ir lygino realų žmogų su savo modeliu. Žinoma, realiam žmogui iki idealo tiek pat toli, kiek iki mėnulio. Todėl Tatjana pradėjo smerkti vadovą: norėjo arba pašalinti jį iš savo kelio, arba perauklėti pagal savo idealųjį modelį.
Vadovo smerkimą (slaptą arba akivaizdų) visada sugriauna savo ruožtu jo dideli reikalavimai. Taigi Tatjanai, smerkusiai savo netobulą vadovą, Jis irgi ėmė reikšti dar didesnius reikalavimus.
Iš prigimties būdama kovotoja ir idealizuodama savo sugebėjimus valdyti gyvenimą, Tatjana kreipėsi į aukštesnio rango vadovą. O šis labai nesigilino į konfliktą ir įsakė abu pavaldinius atleisti iš darbo. Administracinė sistema nemėgsta per daug savarankiškų ir konfliktuojančių darbuotojų. Jeigu tu esi didelio mechanizmo varžtelis, tai būk malonus ir sukis į taktą su visais likusiais krumpliaračiais. Kai vienas kuris nors krumpliaratis pradeda suktis skirtingai, jis gali sustabdyti viso mechanizmo veiklą. Todėl, kai skyriaus vadovė Tatjana pradėjo konfliktuoti su savo viršininku, sistema turėjo atmesti juos abu. Viršininką už tai, kad neteisingai parenka kadrus, o Tatjaną – kad nemoka dirbti sistemoje. Jai buvo pasiūlyta eilinio darbuotojo darbo vieta jos pačios skyriuje (jos išdidumą žeminantis pasiūlymas taikomas kaip auklėjimo priemonė).
Jeigu Tatjana supras, kad jos nuomonė apie sugebėjimą kontroliuoti aplinkinį pasaulį yra tik mitas (pasaulis jai akivaizdžiai įrodinėja, kad ji nieko negali padaryti), tai jos padėtis pagerės. Ji susiras kitą vadovaujamąjį darbą arba pasieks tų pačių pareigų senojoje darbovietėje.
Jeigu nepajėgs nugalėti išdidumo ir savo sugebėjimų idealizacijos, tai auklėjimo procesas tęsis ir toliau. Tokie yra mūsų „auklėjimo” principai, ir nieko čia nepadarysi.
O dabar panagrinėkime kitą situaciją, kai žmogus turi savo verslą jis gana sėkmingai plėtojasi, bet verslininko netenkina jo plėtotės tempai.
21 atvejis. Tatjana, 28 m., turistinės agentūros direktorė.
Tatjanos problema ta, kad jai atrodo, jog verslas plėtojasi labai lėtai, nors per pusantrų metų ji nuo nulio sukūrė agentūrą, kurioje dirba trys dešimtys darbuotojų. Jos manymu, galima pasiekti kur kas daugiau, bet jai tam nepakanka jėgų. Pastaruoju metu, jos žodžiais tariant, ji jaučia nepaaiškinamą apatiją, tingumą, kurie trukdo jai energingiau veržtis į priekį, nors ji keliasi septintą ar aštuntą valandą, o eina miegoti po vidurnakčio. Visas nesėkmes Tatjana priima kaip savo nesugebėjimo ir nemokšiškumo padarinius, nes niekada net mintyse nekaltina kitų žmonių.
Asmeniniam gyvenimui Tatjanai nebelieka laiko. Prieš šešerius metus giminaičių prikalbinta ištekėjo. Vyras buvo visiška jos priešingybė, todėl po dvejų metųjie išsiskyrė. Nuo to laiko apie naują santuoką ji net nemąsto. Nors ir norėtų turėti šeimą ir du ar tris vaikus.
Jos santykiai su bendradarbiais – neblogi. Tačiau kartais jie ją liūdina – pavyzdžiui, kai ji paprašo pasilikti po darbo ir padirbėti bendram labui, jos prašymų darbuotojai nepaiso.
Tatjana turi steigėjus, kurie padeda jai kontroliuoti darbo eigą ir nuolatos primena, kad ji gali dirbti ir geriau. Šios pastabos labai erzina Tatjaną, kadangi ji dirba ne prasčiau nei kiti direktoriai.
Tatjana neretai savo pažįstamiems skolina pinigų, bet dažniausiai ją niekas negrąžina. Tačiau jos nuomonė tokia ~ atidavei ir užmiršai. Todėl ji pati pinigą beveik niekada nereikalauja grąžinti, o ypač jeigu skolininkas neturtingas.
Situacijos diagnozė
Galima konstatuoti faktą, kad Tatjana intuityviai užima teisingą poziciją santykiuose su pasauliu, todėl pasaulis jai yra palankus. Kadangi Tatjanos verslas plėtojasi, tai „auklėjimo” priemonės jai kol kas taikomos nedidelėmis dozėmis. Jai neleidžiama sparčiai stumtis į priekį – t. y. tikrinamos jos idealizacijos. Jos yra, ir gana akivaizdžios, todėl jas ir išvardysime.
Pirmoji – pinigų ir savo sugebėjimų kontroliuoti aplinkinį pasaulį idealizacija. Ši idealizacija reiškiasi tuo, kad Tatjana yra nepatenkinta savo laimėjimais, nors, objektyviai žiūrint, jie yra labai dideli. Tačiau kažkas dirba geriau, todėl ji smerkia savo sėkmę ir savo padėtį, o tai yra tiesioginis žmogaus elgesio šiame pasaulyje pažeidimas. Tatjana nepatenkinta savo laimėjimais -jos karminis „prižiūrėtojas” po truputį atima iš jos galimybę sėkmingai plėtoti verslą. Jis dar tik pradėjo, ir jeigu Tatjana ir toliau bus nepatenkinta savo padėtimi bei pajamomis, tai situacija gali dar labiau pablogėti.
Antroji idealizacija – žmonių smerkimas, o tarp jų ir savęs smerkimas. Jeigu Tatjanai kas nors nesiseka, tai ji kaltina tik save. Tačiau kaip jau suprantate, nesėkmes organizuoja karminis „prižiūrėtojas”, o pykti ant savęs, vadinasi pykti ant Aukštesniųjų jėgų, kadangi viskas šiame pasaulyje vyksta jų valia. Pyktis prieš save, prieš savo netobulumą niekuo ne geresnis už pyktį ant kitų žmonių. Save reikia mylėti ne mažiau nei ką nors kitą, net ir labiau (tačiau nesipuikuoti).
Dar viena šios idealizacijos raiškos forma -nepasitenkinimas savo viršininkais. Ji turi mintyse susikūrusi modelį, pagal kurį vadovai turi būti dėmesingi, mandagūs ir privalo padėti savo pavaldiniams. Juk būtent taip ji stengiasi elgtis su savo bendradarbiais. Ojos viršininkai vietoj to reiškia jai pretenzijas, reikalauja didesnio pelno – vienu žodžiu, elgiasi visiškai neidealiai.
Dar vienas atviras Tatjanos klaidingų įsitikinimų vožtuvas susijęs su jos santykiais su bendradarbiais ir pažįstamais.
Šis klaidingas įsitikinimas – žmonių idealizacija. Tatjana idealizaciją reiškia keliais būdais. Vienas iš jų – tai bendradarbių idealizacija, – jos nuomone, jie taip pat turėtų domėtis savo darbu ir kartais galėtų padirbėti viršvalandžius arba savaitgaliais. Tačiau jie turi savų rūpesčių, problemų ir visiškai nepritaria Tatjanos įsitikinimui, o žlugdo jos idealizaciją.
Kitas būdas – tai įsitikinimas (per didelis pasitikėjimas), kad žmonėms galima skolinti pinigus be jokių apsaugos priemonių, pvz. sutarties, raštiško įsipareigojimo ir pan. Todėl žmonės priversti griauti jos idealizaciją ir dažniausiai nebegrąžina pinigų. Tatjana intuityviai sugebėjo apsisaugoti nuo šios idealizacijos, iš anksto atleisdama visiems žmonėms, kurie skolinosi išjos pinigų.
Tai pagrindiniai vožtuvai, kurie po truputį praverti. Yra ir kitų (šeima, vyrai), tačiau jie beveik neprateka O Tatjana prarado energingumą ir pasidarė apatiška dėl dviejų priežasčių, kurios greičiausiai visai nesusijusios su karminiu „auklėjimu”. Pirmoji – tai nuolatinis miego trūkumas, kadangi ji miega tik 5 – 6 valandas per parą. Antroji priežastis – intensyvi jos „žodžių maišyklės” veikla, – ji pertvarko Tatjanos gyvybingumo jėgas ir periodiškai užkrečia depresija. Jeigu Tatjana sustabdytų „žodžių maišyklę”, ji atgautų gyvybingumą, kuris iki šiol nutekėdavo į nelaimingo gyvenimo egregorą. Taigi ypatingų problemų Tatjana neturi, kol kas yra galinga įvykių „formuotoja” (jos „karmos ąsotis” užpildytas apie 59%), todėl gali siekti bet kokių tikslų.
Kitame pavyzdyje žmogus gerokai pripildė savo „karmos ąsotį”, todėl yra aplinkinio pasaulio aktyviai „auklėjamas”.
22 atvejis. Tatjana, 47 m., verslininkė iš Sibiro. Tatjana yra labai savimi pasitikinti, energinga, veikli moteris. Buvo ištekėjusi, turi dukrą, vyras labai trukdė verslui, todėl jį paliko. Dukra jau ištekėjusi ir gyvena savarankiškai.
Tatjana iš jaunystės išsiskyrė lyderės savybėmis, savarankiškumu, sugebėjimu pasiekti bet kokį tikslą. Baigusi institutą, ji dirbo darbus, tiesiogiai susijusius su kontrole ir vadovavimu, – buvo vyriausioji buhalterė, valstybinės prekybos inspekcijos inspektorė ir pan. Prasidėjus perestroikai, ją patraukė verslininkystė, kurioje visiškai atsiskleidė jos, kaip lyderės, sugebėjimai. Dirbdama kooperatyvo vyriausiojo buhalterio pavaduotoja, Tatjana tapo faktine kolektyvo vadove – ji spręsdavo darbininkų konfliktus ir priiminėdavo svarbius sprendimus. Po kurio laiko jai atsibodo dirbti kolektyvo labui, todėl metė šį darbą. Vėliau ji kūrė savo įmones ir visada dirbdavo be partnerių.
Pastaruosius trejus metus ji dideliame mieste tvarko maisto produktų prekybą. Ir visą šį laikotarpį ją persekioja nesėkmės – tiekėjai nevykdo įsipareigojimų arba pavėluotai atlieka savo darbą. Todėl Tatjanos ieško Kubanės ir Briansko verslininkai, reikalaudami, kad ji sumokėtų skolas. O Maskvoje nuo kreditorių ją apsaugo tik vienos neoficialios grupuotės „globėjai”. Bendra jos skolos suma jau artėja prie milijono denominuotų rublių.
Tatjanos partneriai ir bendradarbiai kažkodėl beveik visada yra atsargos karininkai, kuriems labai patinka jos valdinga ranka. Tačiau jos reikalai prasti, todėl kartkartėmis dėl neapmokėtos nuomos ji turi palikti kontoras, dėl skolų užstatyti prekes ir t. t. Jos perkamiausios prekės kažkodėl neparduodamos ištisomis savaitėmis, ilgai gabenamos, dingsta irpan. Pinigų nebeužtenka net būstui, todėl Tatjana prisiglaudė pas tolimus pažįstamus.
Po tokių totalių nesėkmių (nėra šeimos, būsto, pajamų, liko tik sveikata) Tatjana pradėjo lankytis pas įvairiausius ekstrasensus ir karmos specialistus. Jie diagnozavo dideles karmos problemas (viename iš praeitų gyvenimų ji buvo svarbus karininkas ir smerkė žmones), bandė valyti jos eterinį kūną, afirmacijomis bei atgailomis pašalinti jos nuoskaudas. Tatjanos savijauta ir išorinė ramybė lyg ir pagerėjo, tačiau reikalai vis dar be galo prasti.
Situacijos diagnozė
Visiškai aišku, kad yra atviri keli Tatjanos vožtuvai, – tarsi ji aktyviai „auklėjama”. Apžvelkime šiuos vožtuvus.
Pirmasis atviras vožtuvas – savo sugebėjimo pasiekti bet kokį tikslą idealizacija (aplinkinio pasaulio kontrolė). Tatjana įsitikinusi, kad ji gali pasiekti beveik viską, nors faktai kalba ką kita. Pasak jos, ji per gyvenimą eina kaip tankas, pašalindama visas kelyje pasitaikančias kliūtis. Tačiau gyvenimas — tai miško pievelė, jam nepatinka tie, kurie per ją eina nieko nepaisydami. Klaidingą jos įsitikinimą, kad jai puikiai sekasi verslas, jau keletą metų „prižiūrėtojas” aktyviai griauna, tačiau Tatjana tai priima kaip liūdną atsitiktinumą.
Tačiau verslas nėra jos gyvenimo tikslas arba bent mėgstamas užsiėmimas. Moteris nemėgsta pinigų ir gali visiškai be jų apsieiti. Ji stengiasi uždirbti tik tam, kad galėtų grąžinti skolas ir kad turėtų ką veikti. Kitokių užsiėmimų, kurie padėtų jai išlieti savi energiją Tatjana neturi. Tačiau jeigu verslininkas nemėgsta pinigų, tai ir pinigų egregoras į jį žiūri su nepasitikėjimu: ką gi tu čia veiki tarp normalių žmonių, mėgstančių pinigus? Todėl ji jokios pagalbos iš jo ir negauna.
Kitas atviras vožtuvas – neapykanta žmonėms, žmogiškojo kvailumo smerkimas. Šios jos savybės aiškiausiai pasireiškia bendraujant su kreditoriais, reikalaujančiais pinigų. Po 10-15 min. bendravimo Tatjanos kantrybė išsenka, ji pradeda rėkti ant kreditorių, šie net pašiurpsta nuo jos pykčio. Ją erzina žmonių kvailumas (na iš kur aš jiems paimsiu pinigų?). Taigi pagal karminio „auklėjimo” taisyklę jai gyvenime turi pasitaikyti tik tokie žmonės, kurie nesigėdija ilgai ir piktai reikalauti grąžinti skolas.
Trečiasis atviras vožtuvas – žmonių ir savo bei kitų sąžiningumo idealizacija. Tatjaną keletą kartų išdavė partneriai, t. y. jie pasisavino prekes arba dingo su visais pinigais. O kadangi Tatjana prekes imdavo skolon, tai pinigus irgi turėdavo grąžinti ji.
Verslo partneriai kelis kartus ir jai siūlė taip pat pasielgti, tačiau Tatjana visada smerkė tokį elgesį. Šį smerkimą ji atsivežė iš Sibiro, kur vietiniai gyventojai nekenčia žmonių iš zonos (tų, kurie ką tik išėję iš kalėjimo). O per daug sąžiningam žmogui versle nėra ką veikti. Vadinasi, žlugdoma jos sąžiningumo idealizacija, todėl jai visada pakliūna nesąžiningi partneriai, kurie, be visa kita, dar provokuoja Tatjaną tapti tuo, ką ji smerkia (trečioji karminio „auklėjimo” taisyklė).
Dar vienas atviras vožtuvas – išdidumas. Nepaisydama visų problemų, Tatjana mano, kad yra labai gabi, tik laikinai jai nesiseka. Faktiškai taip ir yra. Tačiau sugebėjimus žmogui duoda Aukštesniosios jėgos, – būtų neblogai šito nepamiršti. O kai žmogus mano esąs lygus Dievui ir su panieka žiūri į plušančius bei pinigus „kalančius” žmones, tai Dievas ir siūlo jam įrodyti savo teisę įjuos žiūrėti iš aukšto. O jeigu tu nįeko nesukuri ir nepadarai, tai kokią turi teisę smerkti kitus šio pasaulio keliautojus?
Tai pagrindinės Tatjanos idealizacijos, tačiau dar detaliau patyrinėjus galėtume jų rasti ir daugiau.
Neidealizuokite savo sugebėjimų
Tatjana ne vienintelė verslininkė, „auklėjama” už savo įsitikinimą, kad gali pasiekti visus tikslus ir kad pajėgia tvarkyti gyvenimą taip, kaip pati nori. Žmogus turi teise siekti bet kurių šio gyvenimo tikslų. Tik nereikia idealizuoti savo sugebėjimų ir prisiminti, kas juos mums davė ir kam priklauso visas jų rezervuaras. Jeigu jūs mintyse dėkosite Aukštesniosioms jėgoms už kiekvieną savo laimėjimą (pagal ketvirtąjį įvykių numatymo principą), tai jos gana geranoriškai žiūrės į jūsų materialinių gėrybių vaikymąsi ir atvers visus verslo ir asmeninės gerovės kelius.
Tačiau tuo nesibaigia verslininkų problemos. Verslo sėkmę gali lemti ir smulkesnės, pasąmonėje glūdinčios idealizacijos. Jos taip pat gali sukurti didelių verslo problemų. Išanalizuokime toliau pateikiamą pavyzdį.
23 atvejis. Aleksejus, 39 m., vieno centrinės Rusijos miesto valstybinės akcinės bendrovės (gamyklos) direktorius. Gamykla funkcionuoja ir gamina produkciją. Jos vadovams kyla tos pačios problemos kaip ir visiems Rusijos gamintojams: didžiuliai mokesčiai, nesutvarkyta realizacija, vartotojų neapmokėta produkcija ir t. t.
Tačiau yra ir specifinių problemų. Aleksejus pastebėjo, kad beveik visi jo produkcijos pirkėjai atsiskaito savo prekėmis (vyksta natūriniai mainai). Užsakovai, kurie turi pinigų susimokėti už produkciją, į jį nesikreipia, nors jų regione ir esama. Todėl jam iškilo daug problemų mokant federalinius mokesčius ir algas darbuotojams.
Pokalbio metu paaiškėjo, kad anksčiau Aleksejus turėjo nuosavąfirmą. Kartą, kai uždirbo daug pinigų, jį vienu metu užpuolė mokesčių inspekcija, mokesčių policija ir reketas. Matyt, jie visi naudojosi tuo pačiu informacijos šaltiniu.
Aleksejus vos ne vos išsikapstė iš tos situacijos. Vėliau jis metė savo verslą ir pradėjo dirbti valstybinėje įmonėje.
Situacijos diagnozė
Aleksejus praktiškai neturi idealizacijų, kurias reikėtų griauti pagal tris pirmąsias karminio „auklėjimo” taisykles. Į pinigus jis reaguoja ramiai, siekia jų, tačiau niekada neatmeta ir pralaimėjimo galimybės. Todėl jo įmonė, nepaisant aplinkinio pasaulio problemų, gauna pelno. Tačiau jos pelnas yra ne pinigai, o kitų verslininkų produkcija. Realizuoti šią produkciją už pinigus yra gana sunku, tam reikia papildomų pajamų, kadangi produkcija pati įvairiausia.
Tai, kad Aleksejus neturi pinigingų užsakovų, rodo, jog jis yra už kažką „auklėjamas”. O problema tokia – Aleksejus nesąmoningai vengia didelių pinigų, kadangi dėl jų jau turėjo didelių nemalonumų. Todėl jo pasąmonėje (greičiausiai emociniame kūne) glūdi neigiama mintis: dideli pinigai – tai pavojus. Būtent ši mintis sukuria Aleksejui problemas su grynais pinigais ir tiesiog atstumia nuo jo tokius užsakovus. Kaip tik taip veikia ketvirtoji klaidingų mūsų įsitikinimų griovimo taisyklė.
Ar yra išeitis iš šios situacijos? Žinoma, yra. Reikia tik atsikratyti tos neigiamos programos. Tiksliau – ne atsikratyti, o perprogramuoti ją taip, kad ji turėtų laimingą pabaigą. Tokį savo emocinio kūno valymo būdą mes apžvelgsime kitame skyriuje.
Paanalizuokime dar vieną pavyzdį.
24 atvejis. Tatjana turi savo verslą (turguje pasistačiusi kioską). Trečius metus Tatjanos verslas teka ramiai, tačiau pajamos nedidėja. Nepaisant jos pastangą, verslas nesiplečia. Šią situaciją ji priima gana ramiai, nors truputį ir stebisi.
Ji turi problemų ir asmeniniame gyvenime, tačiau verslui jos nedaro įtakos.
Pokalbio su Tatjana metu išaiškėjo, kad prieš dešimt metų ji įgijo nelabai malonią patirtį, susijusią su dideliais pinigais. Iš Taupomojo banko ji (su vyru) paėmė kreditą. Vyras per metus turėjo jį grąžinti. Tačiau jam kilo kažkokių problemų, todėl tų pinigų nesumokėjo. Tatjanai apie tai nepapasakojo. Vėliau banko darbuotojai paskambino Tatjanai į darbą ir pareiškė, kad paduoda jos šeimą į teismą. Po didelio konjlikto ji turėjo išeiti iš darbo. Skolą bankui ji sumokėjo, tačiau liko nemalonūs prisiminimai, kurie veikia jos tolesnį gyvenimą.
Situacijos diagnozė
Kaip ir ankstesniu atveju Tatjanos emociniame kūne išliko neigiamos mintys, susijusios su didele pinigų suma. Greičiausiai būtent ši mintis daro įtaką jos šiandieniniam verslui ir riboja jo plėtotę.
Tuo pačiu realizuojama ketvirtoji karminio „auklėjimo” taisyklė.
Kad verslas galėtų plėstis, Tatjana turi ištrinti arba perprogramuoti mintis apie aną atsitikimą. Tai padaryti nesunku, tik reikia jas išsiaiškinti ir su- . prasti, kada jos atsirado. Šiuo atveju jos atsirado tada, kai kilo problema grąžinant kreditą.
Šis įvykis greičiausiai buvo karminis „auklėjimas” už visas idealizacijas ir ano laiko klaidingus įsitikinimus. Šiandien tokio karminio „auklėjimo” nebereikia, tačiau neigiamos mintys ir toliau daro neigiamą įtaką gyvenimo tėkmei. Programa paleista, o norint ją sustabdyti, reikia griebtis pastangų.
Štai tokia situacija, kai klaidingi įsitikinimai kliudo siekti užsibrėžtų verslo tikslų. Siūlome pritaikyti šias situacijas ir sau. Galbūt jos pasufleruos, kodėl jūsų gyvenime atsiranda tam tikrų problemų. O mes aptarsime dar vieną klausimą – ar galima kaip nors panaudoti žinias apie savo verslo partnerių, „karmos ąsočio” prisipildymą.
Verslo plėtros prognozavimas
Ar galima šias žinias pritaikyti prognozuojant ateities įvykius? Žinoma, kad galima. Dabar jūs gerai suprantate, kad jeigu „karmos ąsotis” yra perpildytas, žmogaus nebegali valdyti įvykių. Greičiau atvirkščiai – nė vienas jo planas nebus realizuotas. Žmogus nuolatos spręs gyvenimo jam siųstas problemas (karminis „auklėjimas”).
Mūsų stebėjimai parodė, kad bet kokius verslo tikslus pasiekia tie žmonės, kurių „karmos ąsotis” užpildytas 45 – 55%.
Jeigu jis užpildytas daugiau kaip 60%, žmogų užklumpa nedidelės problemos – gyvenimas pradeda tikrinti, kaip jis tvarkosi su sunkumais, ir po truputį griauna jo planus.
O jeigu jis užpildytas daugiau nei 70%, žmogus jau nebegali pasiekti jokių tikslų, – visi jo planai griūva, jį išduoda partneriai, prekės neparduodamos ir t. t.
Taigi būsimojo partnerio arba bendradarbio sėkmingą veiklą galima prognozuoti, įvertinus jo „karmos ąsočio” prisipildymą. O tai lengva padaryti atsižvelgiant į jo elgesį (jeigu tik, žinoma, žmogus atvirai reiškia savo emocijas).
Jeigu žmogus irzlus, dažnai kaltina aplinkinius už jų nesąžiningumą, dažnai pyksta, serga depresija, keikia valdžią, gyvenimą ir t. t., tai jo „karmos ąsotis” jau visiškai pilnas, todėl ir sėkmė nuo jo jau seniai nusisuko. Taigi jam negalima patikėti svarbių reikalų ir laukti gerų rezultatų – tai labai rizikinga.
Ar galima padėti nelaimėliui?
Be abejonės. Jeigu jūs pasitikėsite savo sėkme bei veiklumu ir pabandysite „ištraukti” tokį žmogų iš jo problemų liūno, tai greičiausiai problemos užgrius ir jus. O užgrius todėl, kad jūs idealizuojate savo sugebėjimą pasiekti sekmą: Aukštesniosios jėgos „auklėja” nevykėlį jūsų partnerį, o jūs ateisite ir panaikinsite „auklėjimą”. Jeigu per daug pasitikite savo jėgomis, tai gali būti, kad jums šis tas ir pavyks. Juk yra netradicinių gydytojų, kurie tiesiog „išvaro” ligą. Kitas reikalas, kiek tai kainuos jums (arba jam) ateityje. Greičiausiai „auklėjimo” procesas ir toliau tęsis. Tačiau jis jau bus taikomas iš karto dviem klientams.
Taigi nelaimėliui padėti galima, tačiau tik tada, kai jis pripažins savo klaidingus įsitikinimus. Priešingu atveju problemos užgrius abu.
Kaip įvertinti verslo partnerio „karmos ąsotį”
Naujojo partnerio „karmos ąsočio” prisipildymą galite įvertinti savarankiškai – pagal jo poelgius ir sėkmę tvarkant kitus reikalus. Vertinimo kriterijai yra tie patys – ar sėkmingi jo reikalai, kaip jis elgiasi su kitais ir su savimi, ar jį išduoda kiti partneriai, kaip jis reaguoja į naujas idėjas ar tiki sėkme ir t. t. Visa tai galite sąmoningai įvertinti dalykinių pokalbių metu ir padaryti svarbias išvadas. Nors gali kilti ir sunkumų, -jeigu jūsų partneris išmano šiuolaikinius psichologijos metodus, tai jis suvaidins visiškai savimi pasitikintį ir klestintį verslininką. Būtent taip ir mes siūlome elgtis siekiant savo tikslų. Taigi, jeigu jis gerai vaidina klestintį ir savimi pasitikintį, tai galite ir apsirikti. Tačiau jūs suprasite, koks jis yra iš tiesų, kai iškils su juo susijusios problemos.
Tačiau toks žaidimas retai pasitaiko. Dauguma šiuolaikinių verslininkų, ypač jaunosios ir viduriniosios kartos, yra labai atviri ir gali pasipasakoti apie praeities nesėkmes, dėl jų apkaltinti aplinkybes arba kitus žmones, gali pažadėti aukso kalnus. Visa tai akivaizdžiai rodo, kad jis turi daug idealizacijų ir jau yra „auklėjamas”.
Štai dabar jums ir pravers apytikris pašnekovo „karmos ąsočio” įvertinimas. Treniruotei rekomenduojame pradėti vertinti gerai pažįstamus žmones, kurių gyvenimą neblogai žinote. Laikui bėgant, galite išsiugdyti sugebėjimą tiksliai įvertinti ir naujus, nepažįstamus žmones.
Jeigu vis dėlto abejojate savo įvertinimais, galite kreiptis į specialistus, turinčius specialius Harmoningos sąveikos akademijos sertifikatus. Jie gali gana tiksliai nustatyti naujo žmogaus „ąsočio” prisipildymą netgi jo nematydami ar telefonu. Tokią paslaugą teikia ir mūsų Centras.
Be to, nerekomenduojame kreiptis į kitus aiškiaregius arba ekstrasensus (neturinčius sertifikato), net jeigu jie ir įtikinės, kad gali įvertinti „karmos ąsočio” prisipildymą. Galbūt kuriam nors iš jų tai ir pavyks. Tačiau pas mus žmonės, norintys įsigyti Akademijos sertifikatus, turi atitikti griežtus reikalavimus. O būtent – jų pačių „karmos ąsotis” gali būti užsipildęs ne daugiau kaip 40%. O tokių netradicinių gydytojų ir aiškiaregių yra labai nedaug. Jeigu tokio patarėjo „karmos ąsotis” užsipildęs daugiau, jis informaciją gali gauti tik iš žemiausiųjų Neapčiuopiamojo pasaulio aukštų. O kas „gyvena” tuose aukštuose, mes jau pasakojome. Taigi pasitikėti galima toli gražu ne kiekvienu aiškiaregiu, kad ir kaip jis reklamuotųsi.
Tuo ir baigiame verslininkų problemų apžvalgą ir pereiname prie išvadų.
IŠVADOS
1. Tipiškai klaidingi įsitikinimai, sąlygojantys pinigines problemas, yra apsirūpinimo ir savo sugebėjimo kontroliuoti aplinkinį pasaulį idealizacija, kitų žmonių smerkimas ir išdidumas.
2. Kartais gyvenimas taiko ketvirtąjį klaidingų įsitikinimų žlugdymo būdą, — realizuojasi tos verslo apribojimo programos, kurios žmogaus atmintyje atsirado kaip neigiamų netolimos praeities įvykių rezultatas.
3. Žmogaus tikslų siekimo efektyvumas priklauso nuo jo „karmos ąsočio” prisipildymo lygio. Jeigu jo „ąsotis” yra daug užsipildęs, žmogus negali pasiekti savo tikslų, nepakeitęs pažiūrų į gyvenimą sistemos.
4. Jeigu jūsų naujojo verslo partnerio „karmos ąsotis”yra perpildytas, tai pradėjus bendradarbiauti, jus gali užgriūti sunkios problemos.
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